'oh, pity poor little me, Shadow roasted my fic over an open flame . . .'

Now before you get your own flamethrowers ready, listen up, I'm about to explain my reasons for blasting your fics . . .

First, I know nobody's perfect. Hell, even I screw up spelling and such sometimes. But that's what that little button labled 'spellcheck' is for. And if you can't be bothered to make the effort to move your mouse and click said button, then I'm probably going to rip your fic to shreds.

Two, halfway decent grammar is a must. In some programs there's a grammarcheck, but they can be too strict and screw up sometimes. Solution to this problem? Get a beta reader, preferrably NOT a really close friend. If they spot stuff that doesn't sound right, take their advice and fix it before publishing.

Three, the problem of the Mary Sue. Now not all original characters ARE Mary Sues, but a good many are. A Mary Sue is basically a character that's an avatar of the author, she can do just about anything better than the regulars, has phenomonal cosmic powers, and might be able to destroy the universe with a flick of her pinky, but she doesn't cause she's in love with Duke/Nosedive/Canard/Wildwing/whoever. I'm sure you get the general idea. Mary Sues are BAD, they're an epic example of bad writing because their creator couldn't be bothered with giving the character real, viable flaws. No, they made their character perfect, and as nobody in the real world IS perfect, a lot of people who read the fic aren't going to like it. They're going to criticize you for your lack of effort!

Four, could you at least try for an original plot? Everybody's done or at least attempted 'Wildwing and Nosedive get in a fight and Nosedive runs away', 'Canard comes back and gives Nosedive a hard time' , and even 'one of Duke's rivals comes to earth to kick his ass'. Originality is a GOOD thing; try writing about the Saurians, about Grin, hell, even Thrash and Mookie! Try to find that one plot idea that no one else has done before. Do that and you're definitely going to impress me.

However, if you just have to write that fic with the ancient plot idea, try giving it a new twist that nobody else has before! Have Canard come back and NOT give Nosedive a hard time, have one of Duke's rivals come to earth to avenge his supposed death, and have Nosedive and Wildwing have their fight, only it's Wildwing that runs away! Try for something different, you usually can't go wrong with that.

*stretches her fingers after a lot of typing* Ahem, this concludes the current rant/fic advice/explanation. Thank you for reading!